Marriage, divorce and millennials: the impact of feminism

If social and mainstream media is to be believed, feminism is something that many more young people are engaging with than they were even ten years ago. Whether or not they identify as feminists, most millennials (those between 28 and 43[1])  seem to have an opinion on it one way or another. And, it seems, it shapes their opinion of marriage.

“The whole ‘who brings this woman to be given to this man?’ thing is just gross,” says Laura, 35. “I don’t think you can separate marriage from its sexist history. As much as I’d like it to be about love, it feels more like a transaction than anything else.”

Alice, 29, has a slightly different perspective. “Marriage is what you make it. I think you can definitely have a feminist marriage, if that’s what you and your partner want. Weddings might have some unpleasant rhetoric, but it should be about love first and foremost.”

So what does the evidence say? Well, studies have suggested that women were, in one example, 69% more likely to ask for a divorce due to the frustration of men not doing household or childcare tasks. The same study found that the institution of marriage has been slow to keep pace with the expectations of gender equality.. However, an older study found that couples who share the housework are actually more likely to divorce. Not a very promising statistic for those hoping to split housework using gender equality as a basis, nor improve gender equality and buck gender norms – all growingly important to millennials. The study, however, does leave out some fairly crucial facts, such as the age and attitude of the couples surveyed. If they weren’t a housework-sharing couple before marriage, but became so later on, perhaps this shift displeased the party who originally had less to do. And, of course, we can’t ignore the role societal stereotypes play in informing us how we’re ‘supposed’ to function within a marriage, based on our gender.

In recent years, journalists as well as social media users have asked whether feminism is destroying the institution of marriage, citing the fact that women are now the ones more likely to seek a divorce. Their rationale is often based on historic ‘male’ attitudes to housework and childcare, which do not appear to be representative of the views of the majority of millennials. Studies have shown that between 70% and 80% of millennials desire equality and flexibility within the gender boundaries of their marriages, while less than 15 percent of millennial women and less than 30% of millennial men want to maintain traditional gender roles in their relationships[2].

While changing attitudes towards gender roles, as well as towards the preconceptions of gender itself, have certainly changed our view on marriage and how duties are divided, the basic fundamentals remain. As Alice observed, a marriage is a sum of its parts: so long as partners are on the same page, whether this concerns housework, childcare or their respective careers, their marriage will likely be built to last.

It can be helpful to have the advice and guidance of a family law expert if you are considering marriage or divorce. Vardags has a dedicated team of highly-experienced family lawyers who are adept at providing tailor-made advice to meet your needs, as well as safeguarding and representing your interests in and out of court. We offer a free consultation with one of our experts, so please do get in touch with us to arrange a meeting.