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Can I date whilst going through a divorce?

Please note that the following guide only applies to divorces started before 4pm on 5th April 2022. For divorces after this date, no fault divorce now applies.

One positive aspect for some parties going through a divorce is the fact it results in the ability to take those first exciting steps towards moving on and starting afresh. Inevitably, this includes the opportunity to date and, potentially, find a new partner. Legally, you can date during the divorce proceedings, however, exist a number of legal and practical considerations to bear in mind.

Am I committing adultery?

Whilst you and your spouse may have lived separate lives for months, even years, you remain legally married until the decree absolute has been pronounced. Where one spouse has intercourse with a person of the opposite sex outside of the marriage it is still considered adultery. Nevertheless, this fact alone is unlikely to have any material impact on a divorce which is already ongoing - especially where grounds for the divorce have already been established. As for the financial settlement, conduct of the parties has no relevance to division of the assets, bar in exceptional circumstances.

If you are considering or going through a divorce, click below for a free initial consultation with one of our expert divorce solicitors.

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Why you should consider waiting before dating

The legal implications on the financial settlement

When disclosing your financial situation, the courts will want to know whether or not you are cohabiting with a new partner, or otherwise intend to do so within the near future. This is standard practice for the courts to gauge any change in your financial needs and outgoings, should they change upon cohabitation with a new partner (in which case they will likely be reduced). This is important for the courts to ensure that the settlement arrived at is fair in context of both parties circumstances and needs.

It is important to acknowledge here that once a financial settlement has been reached by the courts, there is often little one can do to change it. As such, if your relationship with a new partner is to end prematurely - and your needs, as a result, promptly increase – you may find yourself in a worse-off position than you would have otherwise been.

Dating can make it harder to finalise the divorce

It is also important to consider the emotional as well as financial context of dating during divorce. Indeed, cooperative amicable negotiations between the two parties are often vital in ensuring that the divorce process is smooth and conflict-free one. This can, in turn, ensure legal fees are kept to a minimum and enables both parties to move on to the next stages of their lives as quickly and as pain-freely as possible. On the other hand, animosity can protract matters and result in the opposite.

As such, it is important to consider how dating might affect you/your partners approach to finalising the divorce process and negotiating a settlement. If you have reason to believe that they would react badly and become less cooperative, it may be useful to consider holding off until the process is finalised.

In this respect, it may also be helpful to openly communicate with your partner on the prospect of dating again before actually doing so, thereby avoiding any conflicts which may result from partners finding out about new partners (and the impact this could have on proceedings).

Life after divorce

Thinking even further into the future, you should also consider the kind of relationship you wish (or need) to maintain with your former partner after the divorce. It is not uncommon for former spouse to sustain a role in your life following the end of your marriage, especially when co-parenting children. As such, it is important to communicate clearly and respect your partners emotional needs on this front, thereby maximising your chances of maintaining a constructive dynamic moving forward.

 

 

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