Ayesha Vardag reveals the little things that matter during a divorce in The Lady magazine

    Ayesha Vardag spoke to The Lady about the sometimes surprising things which create conflict in divorce. She explained to the magazine that “From my years working with divorcing couples, I’ve learned that it is often the smaller things that drive couples to distraction during the heartbreaking process of separating lives.”

    Ayesha explained that for many clients, divorce can see couples fighting not only pets and family heirlooms, but also over who keeps their circle of friends. She added “During the interim phases there can be bitterly fought applications to get hold of musical instruments, fur coats, jewellery and the like.”

    Her experience in some of the most high value and complex divorce cases allows her to understand the motives behind this behaviour. She added “Divorcees will often fixate on seemingly ‘little things’ in an attempt to displace the wider pain of what they’re going through. They want to cry out that they’re in pain and angry with their husband or wife for leaving them, having an affair or otherwise behaving in such a way as to make the marriage break down. They are often terrified that life as they know it is gone forever and they may never feel loved or happy again (which, I am pleased to say, is rarely borne out).”

    Ayesha concluded with a warning, advising couples that “It’s important for both parties to a divorce to acknowledge their own fear and pain and anger but not lose perspective on what is and is not important.”